August 21-25 Part 1

"Who builds a two-legged table. That's just irresponsible." Sterling Scott

I have managed to survive a few days without having any major issues. The doctors have informed me that things should be just as they have been for the last year, and a vegan diet will most likely keep me from having a gall bladder attack during this trip. I am on the way to the Salmon River in Idaho for a 5-day raft trip with my new coworkers. I have joined a crew of teachers for a public charter school, teaching outdoor recreation and helping students achieve their academic goals. *1 

This trip is the start to a major transition for our business. The kayak shop and school are both thriving, and this success is a promising premonition that things for Maddie and I are finally going to ease up. 3 years of constant dedication to the paddling community has left many scars, and we aren't close. Most my nights are spent on the couch looking at friends Facebook marriages and children. After several long nights and emotional discussions, Maddie agreed that we could give things a little time to mellow out, now that the season is ending. I left the house feeling good about where everything is, and set forth to medicate on the river. *2

Interesting background with the Lower Salmon River and myself. The stretch we are rafting on this retreat I have only paddled once before, almost exactly 4 years ago- 3 weeks from today. During the previous experience, I was celebrating our anniversary knowing that somewhere upstream Maddie was doing the same. I sat at the edge of the sand beach with hands in the river, imagining that water passing by my hands was allowing her to safely navigate the upper stretch that day. Possibly, that her hands may even be resting as well connecting us in water. However, upon return of this trip things felt strange between us. A simple glimpse of an engagement ring and Maddie broke into confession of an affair she had been having with a person twice her age. River love... a concept that looks appealing on paper, and in fact, ruins many lives. Spending every moment with another person on the water for several weeks will always bring you closer. The mistake lays in a belief that river-time never ends and it seems as though she was washing betrayal down onto my hands.  

It is easy to be optimistic that this trip will have a much better outcome...